And when birth doesn't follow the path we imagined?

The way a woman experiences her birth can stay with her for many years. Penny Simkin collected birth stories almost 70 years ago and found women who, 15 to 20 years later, still remembered very clearly what had been said to them, how they had been treated, and who had truly been by their side.

During pregnancy, you might often imagine how you would like the birth to be. You can talk about the environment, pain relief, positions, interventions you would prefer to avoid, or what you would like to happen when the baby is born. Having preferences is important. But preparing for birth is also about knowing that the path can change.

Maybe labour is longer than you expected. Maybe she wants an epidural that she didn't initially want. Maybe an intervention is proposed that wasn't in the plans, or the baby ends up being born by caesarean.

You can help her understand what is happening, give her time to ask questions when there is time, remind the team of something that was important to her and, above all, continue to be a familiar presence when everything around her seems to have changed.

The way a person is cared for and supported influences how they will remember the birth.

Remember this, too...

A clinically well baby and mother do not tell the whole story of the birth. If she needs to talk about what happened, listen. Avoid replying immediately "but everything went well". It can be important to understand, organise and integrate an experience that was very different from what she imagined.

If you want to find out more about this study, click here